The Importance of Date Night

Day after day, night after night, it’s always the same thing. You wake up, brush your teeth, take care of the kids, feed them, clothe them, do everything for everyone, and polish off the day with a bath, bedtime, and about 30 minutes of relaxation before passing out to do it all again tomorrow.

Whether it’s your main job or your partner’s, the act itself can be monotonous. Before you know it, you’re months without alone time, weeks without intimacy, and days without really even speaking to your partner about anything but the family. What a life, am I right?

And that is precisely why taking time for just you and your partner is so important. That is why Date Night is a resource.

Imagine doing the exact same thing every single day. Sounds miserable, right? Well, if that’s exactly what you and your partner are currently doing, I’m willing to bet there’s a little bit of spice missing from your house right now. Possibly even a little bit of resentment lying beneath the surface.

With that in mind, why not take a break? Why not take some time with your partner or even set some time up for both of you to do something – either together or apart? Your partner might be sick of you, and vice versa.

Date night is something I look so forward to when the opportunity arises. Taking time out of the ritualistic continuity and complacency of life to enjoy something greater without screaming kids around can completely change your week. Constantly doing the same thing over and over again can drain you faster than the expensive C batteries in the RC car your son left on for six straight days. Date night is the recharge you both need.

Don’t get me wrong, taking the family to a steak dinner at Texas Roadhouse is always nice, but getting to sit down at your favorite sushi restaurant with just your partner after being on parent duty exclusively for eight months consecutively… It feels like the first date all over again. You don’t even realize it before the night, but you actually have things you’re catching up on with your partner. Be it how work is going, the new Pixar movie that had surprisingly adult themes, or gossip among each other’s friends you haven’t been able to share yet. The adult conversation is like taking a deep inhale of beautifully fresh air.

Now, date night doesn’t have to be dinner. My fiancee and I have used “date night” to do stuff like clean our house without our son around. We’ve used it to see movies, finish Christmas shopping, even hit the grocery store. For a brief period, we even used it for therapy. Date night is the light at the end of the tunnel when all you can see is bright yellow rubber bath time duckies.

“But how could I possibly leave my baby?” Honestly, that’s a really fair question.

Leaving the kids for date night can be tough. Especially post-pandemic. When your kids have been locked inside for over a year and their only friends have pretty much just been you, you’ll probably have a harder time leaving them than you or your partner think. But you have to just rip the bandaid on that one.

Believe it or not, a little distance between you and the little ones is okay. Leaving them with grandma, cousins, or even well-trusted friends helps them to socialize and build a healthy level of independence. And when you get back, they grow a little more comfortable with the fact that, “hey, mom and dad would never leave me behind.”

Date night is good for them. It’s good for you. Giving yourself some time to just be adults, or just hang around and act like kids without the kids around, can be super beneficial. You can re-spark lost intimacy, relearn your partner and what runs through their mind all day. You can build that Lego Guardians of the Galaxy set you’ve been wanting to build and eat big kid food with the love of your life without having to worry about getting fruit snacks for the kids.

Date night can be a lot of things. It can be anything. It can be everything you’ve been looking forward to having or just getting a chance to see your partner be happy about something other than seeing your son land almost the entire stream in the toilet that one time. Don’t let the little ones affect the big picture all the time. You may live for your kids, but that doesn’t mean you can’t live a little while you’re doing it.

So leave work a little early this Friday, ring up the babysitter, and tell that special someone to go out and get themselves a little something nice. Date night is right around the corner.

2020 was a nightmare for me, in 2021 I turned everything around. I wish you all the best in 2022. Stay Strong! This episode is also available as a blog post: https://coffeeandapplejuice.com/2022/01/02/stay-strong/
  1. Stay Strong
  2. The Importance of Supporting a Child’s Dreams
  3. Trauma: The Sins of Your Parents
  4. Far Away Holidays
  5. The First Six Weeks After Birth

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